“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
–Thich Nan Hahn
Off Track and Worried
John was driving home from work, and a feeling of dread came over him. His chest tightened. Was tonight going to be the same? Another night filled with arguing and ending in tense silence?
He wondered how he and Kate had gotten here. He knew they loved each other, but all they did was fight. He didn’t think he could do anything right in Kate’s eyes. He tried to make her happy, but he couldn’t escape her criticism.
He knew she wasn’t happy either. She often talked about how lonely she was and asked him why he didn’t open up to her. She was frustrated with his long hours at work and wanted more support with the house and kids.
Truth is, he didn’t want to go home. It was easier to stay at work with tensions so high.
John was worried that if he and Kate didn’t get back on track, they would likely lose their marriage. He knew that neither one of them could sustain this level of stress in their life.
Kate really wanted to go to counseling, but he had resisted.
During his drive home, he realized he was ready.
They Reached Out for Help
John and Kate made a decision to reach out and get help for their marriage.
That decision changed everything.
In therapy, John and Kate learned that even though they loved each other, there were many things getting in the way of being able to enjoy their marriage and the life they had created together.
Relationships are Complicated
They had grown up in different types of families.
They had traumas from previous relationships
Their family values and dreams were different.
They had different ways of communicating and expressing love.
They also had the stress of parenting, with little help from extended family.
Getting Back the Relationship
John and Kate worked closely with their therapist and with each other to get their relationship back.
They acquired relationship skills that neither of them had been taught in the families they grew up in.
They learned to look for the meaning behind one another’s actions.
John learned how to be more open with Kate and she learned how to listen without criticizing.
They enjoy each other’s company again and have reached a new level of intimacy.
They are happy they get to model a healthy relationship for their kids.
John and Kate understand that sometimes old patterns and behaviors creep back in, but now they have tools to get themselves back on track when that happens.
They are grateful for therapy giving them back the marriage they have always wanted.
Back on Course with Three Rivers Counseling
At Three Rivers, we see couples similar to John and Kate.
Many things can get a relationship off course:
Lack of communication, an affair…
A partner with addiction…
Pornography, sexual issues…
The stress of kids, or the stress of something else…
We can help you stabilize your relationship and get it to a place of connection and trust.
The Relationship Change You Need
We will work with you to see your partner in a new light—someone who is not your enemy but, rather, a person you admire, respect, and love.
For those who know they are ready to leave their relationship, we also help facilitate this, so it can be done with as much peace as possible.
Help is a Phone Call Away
You are here because your relationship isn’t going well.
You know if it continues in this way, the relationship may not survive.
Take the first step in creating the love and relationship you have always wanted.